Living with cancer

Living with cancer is much more than just going to weekly, fortnightly or other frequency chemo appointments.

There is all the side effects and problems that tumours, especially ones that cannot be operated on cause.

Consider this, since December 23rd I have been admitted to hospital 4 times (3 of those via ambulance).

The latest admission rounded of a lovely evening of drinking tea and teaching some of the people who made my very special quilt how to knit.

Here's how it happened.

I ate a biscuit (never again), got up to go to the loo, and face planted into Emma's under stairs shoe rack, unconscious. I imagine panic ensued. You don't expect your friend, even if she is suffering cancer to faint when she has seemed fine all night. I also have several small cuts to my chin and lip to show for the ordeal.

An ambulance was called, but Emma lives on a new estate so someone had to chase the ambulance up the road, while the lovely Jennie had been woken and came to provide some medical reassurance. 

Luckily for Emma I managed to contain the nausea I was feeling for the ambulance and I'm glad I did. 2 and a half bowls of blood later and I was worried. Blood remains in your body, vomiting blood is never a good sign. 

I was then hooked up to enough painkillers to fell a small elephant (entenox and my favourite liquid paracetamol) and took another trip to A&E.

A&E was pretty uneventful, until the vomiting started again, Tony arrived and was greeted with the sight of his wife being rushed into resuscitation while vomiting blood. 

They gave me some anti sickness drugs, one of which gave me an awful rash up my arm and so now needs to be added to the list of allergens (along with penicillin & liquid tramadol). They also took a chest X-ray and then Tony was allowed to see me. I can only imagine what had been through his head and I apologise with all my heart to you my love. I do not ever mean to scare you and I am sorry about that.

I was moved to the Acute Medical Unit where I am now and 48 hours later have not vomited anymore blood, but am still suffering from Melena (Google it if you wish).

I have had a CT scan and another endoscopy (camera down the throat), but came round from the endoscopy to the most beautiful thing in the world, back on the ward with my husband and children just arriving. 

This uncertainty about whether I will collapse, when I will collapse and what happens dogs every step of my life & panics me everyday, thanks to those closest to me, my amazing friends who so far this week have looked after my children so Tony can go to work and continue to earn, rather than taking the time off either unpaid or cutting into our precious holiday time together as a family.

Finally, after reading this please do one of two things

Visit www.blood.co.uk and register to give blood 

Or my very good friend Emma Patterson is completing dryathlon for cancer research uk, please sponsor her and make my dreams of an artificial stomach come even closer.

Dinosaurs suffered with cancer and a cure will not be found in my lifetime, but other research can help patients suffering from cancer, and giving up alcohol is a massive sacrifice to raise money.