This was the same until the turn of this year. Ruth became entitled to higher amounts of benefits and for once we had more coming in than we could spend. I am in the process of tweaking the income and expenses so that we do not have to go without and there is money available for the kids to enjoy being kids.
But essentially this is all background noise, the main thing I want to put out there is around the finances of death. Not a great or gripping read (or write) I must say but all the same, we are all going to die!
So what can you do to make life easier for those who are left behind?
1. Make a will - Seriously, make a will, I am in the process of doing mine now it's cost £120 via my bank but will save a lot of time and effort when the time comes to execute it.
2. Put as much into joint names as possible - this means that it automatically goes to your partner in the event of the worst happening. Fortunately for us, nearly everything was in joint names!
3. Even put the kids accounts into joint names! - Halifax forced me to close the kids accounts and wanted me to bring in their ID again to reopen them! Doubtless to say, I closed them, then moved them to another more(?) caring(??) bank!
4. Make a list of your financial holdings - obscure bank accounts, online shopping accounts, anything that has a value - makes it easier to track it down. Also a list of passwords for your digital life will make life easier for those you leave behind. Ruth had the foresight to email me a list of passwords when she moved into the hospice.
5. Did I say, MAKE A WILL????
The benefits system is great in this country but they don't come to you, you need to approach them and tell them what has happened. The only time they come to you is if you or your former partner owes them money! Again people like the hospice and MacMillan are very supportive but you need to ask. With all of the offers of help you get at this vulnerable time, what you really need is specific offers of help and not just the generic ones.
I have joined a support group whom I will eventually meet up with others like me through but there is a very good list on there of things to say and not to say to a widow!
This leads quite nicely onto the next section in this little story, coping with / dealing with and moving on. Until then. MAKE A WILL!!!
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