About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

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Wednesday, 28 December 2011

I'm full of Christmas cheer

So, I had my 5th chemotherapy appointment this morning and am currently sat in guildford friary shopping centre before heading back to the hospital to pick up my tablets. There will be no IV drip today. As regular readers will know I have really suffered with the sensitivity to cold caused by the oxaliplatin. After session number 4, I was regularly having to cover my mouth when out walking to stop me becoming very short of breath, I I was feeling the cold through gloves especially when pushing the pushchair & even struggled unloading the washing machine yesterday because the laundry was cold and my fingers went all numb again. I told all this to my dotor and he appeared to be concerned enough to stop the oxaliplatin and give me a larger dose of capceitabine(?). To be honest at this moment in time I am not sure what I feel. I don't know if this is a permanent solution or whether I will have to have it again in the future. I feel like a bit of a cop out. I was bought up that you finished a course of medication and having been on anti depressants for the best part of 10 years I know what the effects of missing one day/treatment can be. On the other hand, the side effects were seriously affecting my quality of life and more importantly my relationships with tony and the children. So what now? As mentioned I have been for a shop in Guildford and spent most of my Christmas money and have to head back to the hospital soon to pick up my tablets and have my PICC line flushed and redressed. But at least now I will be able to drink cold drinks and can go back to having cereal for breakfast rather than porridge, which I am not a massive fan off!!

Thursday, 22 December 2011

A celebration

I meant to post this on Wednesday but coupled with a sickly Isaac I forgot.

I am now 1/2 way through chemotherapy. I have survived 4 sessions and only have another 4 to go. Or 2 and a bit months to go. 

It feels good to get this far and know that I can do it. However saying that, I do know I am going to struggle with the next 4 sessions. 

Especially the sensitivity to cold. This has been terrible for this cycle. I am still getting the numbness, tingling and now slight pain in my fingers today - Thats 16 days after the oxaliplatin and I, naively, perhaps did not expect it to last this long. 

I have even lost feeling in my nose quite a lot this time and that coupled with the struggling for breath due to the cold air has left me feeling quite run down. 

But we are getting there, one day at a time and 4 tablets at a time and come Mothers Day it will all be over.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

So I have really been working on getting into the Christmas Spirit. Chemo has really taken it out of me and I had not been feeling at all christmassy. 

Coupled with being in hospital at the end of November and doing all my christmas shopping in one night on t'internet I was all for cancelling christmas but obviously wouldn't.

To help with the feeling christmassy I have been baking christmas cake, christmas cookies (made a bit of an error, used self raising flour not plain so they were a bit 'puffy') & yesterday I made icing from scratch and iced both the cakes & made chocolate roulade which I now need to roll, once I have whipped the cream.

Now I am feeling quite smug. The last christmas present arrived this morning from ebay and needs wrapping. All the rest of the presents are under the tree and haven't been touched by the children. 

There are three decorations left to put on the advent tree and the children have loved selecting one each morning and choosing where to put it. 

& finally to get in the christmas spirit I did these for the children

Isaacs Video from Santa

Imogen's Video from Santa

They loved them, and have watched them repeatedly.