About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

For more inane ramblings, follow me on twitter

To see my crafty loves follow me on Pinterest
Follow Me on Pinterest

Why not like my new Facebook page
http://www.facebook.com/thepoohstickqueen" data-layout="standard" data-action="like" data-show-faces="true" data-share="true">

Or follow my photographic craziness on instragram

Tuesday, 22 February 2011


No not car crashes this time, but my life coming crashing down around my ears.

I was supposed to have an interview with the NCT to train as a breastfeeding counselor. Something I am really passionate about, not just breastfeeding but the whole process and helping those who can't succeed or not feeling bad about not being able to do it. There are many ways of feeding a baby and I wanted to be able to support new parents in their feeding choices, not enforce my beliefs on them.

Note I said supposed to..... I got an email today saying the tutor group was full and all interviews were cancelled. Now call me bitter ( and I suppose I am a bit) but it seems silly to arrange to interview people when your group is full or you know that your group is about to be full. I am feeling really unsure of myself at the moment and that was the one bright thing I had to look forward too. Even if I had been interviewed and told that I wasn't going to be able to start until there was a space I would have understood, but this seems a bit haphazard.

What is also in the back of my mind is the fact that Tuesday is also applying, and she is Lex's sister and I wonder what lengths Lex would go to to make sure her little sister got a place and would that be to the detriment of me?

Am I a cynic? yes probably. So little seems to go right in my life at the moment. 

I though that the crash was a blessing in disguise, no need to MOT the car or tax it, so I would be saving some cash, but this on top of that is not a good thing.

If this seems negative then that is what it is, I can't change how I feel or what my emotions are doing at the moment.

Maybe posting this will help me offload, it seems to make things clearer.

Maybe the birth stories will be next - prepare for trauma!!

Monday, 21 February 2011

the crash -one week on

So, this time last week we were sitting in Frimley Park hospital having been seen and discharged. We still have no news on my car, apart from the fact that Tony has left a Levellers cd in the cd player.
I have learnt quite a lot. Make sure when you take out car insurance you only have to report the accident once. We have reported it twice! It does not seen to have affected the kids. When tony took Isaac to pick up all the stuff, Isaac climbed into the back me the car and found the crisps he was eating at the time of the crash.
I am still not sure what happened, but it has made me a more carefully driver, although that might be because the loan car I have had less than 500 miles on the clock!!!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Saturday, 12 February 2011

I wonder

I wonder.....

Why the broadband is so slow in my parents house. The router keeps needing to be rebooted and the signal is very poor on either mine or hubbys laptop (He isn't even here)

I also wonder why my parents seem so naive sometimes. My dad is a good example. Over new year when we were watching the news about the VAT rise he said

'it's only 2.5% it won't make any difference'

Actually it does. We are feeling the pinch even more now and don't even get me started on fuel and train fares etc etc. Almost in the same breath he accused the elderly of being the problem as they voted for the conservatives. Hello, I voted Tory as a LibDem vote would have been a waste in Crawley.

I was watching the news today about how the middle classes do not realise the scale of the budget deficit and I think that it is not just the middle classes but the middle aged as well. Sure my Dad knows that when he chooses to retire he may suffer an income shock and so he plans to keep on working, but does he realise the mess that the country is in. 

People might say that 'you don't remember what it was like under Thatcher' 

No, I don't, but I lived through 14 years of a labour government and where did that get us. Tuition fees for students, an illegal war in Iraq, heightened terror alerts, the banking crash and subsequent financial meltdown.

No doubt when mini hayllar and bigger Hayllar are old enough to vote I shall say to them, ahh you don't remember what it was like under Blair and Brown, but you must live for the moment - Not look to the future and plan unsustainable things and not reflect on how things were so much better in the past. You can't predict the future, you can't change the past, You must live in the present and do what is right for the here and now and so I have and I shall continue too.

Peace Out

Monday, 7 February 2011

Folk Music, Festivals and Kids

Last year we took the kids to a music festival. Not just any music festival , in my opinion one of the best festivals in the UK.
We went to Beautiful Days at Escot Park in Devon. It was amazing. Isaac loved all the music, dancing, mud and performers. Imogen was amazed by it all, the colours and sounds and general lovelyness of it all. 

What has sparked this??

I have been tweeting this evening about the Radio 2 Folk Awards - Bellowhead, The Levellers, Port Isaacs Fishermans Friends, Eliza Mccarthy, and then I checked Facebook. Most of my FB friends are updating about loosing X amount of weight, or watching one born every minute or some other nonsensical thing and I started to wonder whether these people know what they are missing?

Live music in a field with kids rocks. Most people thought that we were mad when we decided to take the kids to a festival - How will you wash them? What will you feed them? (Easy for Imogen she was 51/2 months and so breastfeeding is kind of easy in a field, tent, anywhere really), How will they sleep?

It turned out to be one of the easiest holidays we have ever had. No pressure, no need to be in a certain place at a certain time, no peer group to entertain. The only slight hiccup we encountered was a puncture in the pushchair tyre and Imogen deciding the grass looked tasty. We lost one of Isaacs wellies and managed to find it again.

I wish we had done it earlier. I thought about going when Isaac was 8 weeks old. He would have been really portable and it would have been dead easy. Then 2009, yeah I would have been pregnant, but I would still have been able to have fun. Maybe I could have fainted and got backstage :)

But we did it & took the DUCK's and I will do it all again this year and forever, although it will start to get expensive