About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

For more inane ramblings, follow me on twitter

To see my crafty loves follow me on Pinterest
Follow Me on Pinterest

Why not like my new Facebook page
http://www.facebook.com/thepoohstickqueen" data-layout="standard" data-action="like" data-show-faces="true" data-share="true">

Or follow my photographic craziness on instragram

Monday, 20 February 2012

2nd Children

I have recently finished re reading 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother' by Amy Chua (Here on Amazon) and started analysing my own parenting style.

This in turn led me to wonder whether second children have it easier or harder than first born's?

With your first you are muddling along and let them do everything at their own pace, you read everything you can about parenting and all the contentious topics to make sure that you are doing the best for your offspring. 

How does it work with the second?

I can only go on my own experience but they do have a rougher ride than number one. You can't devote 100% attention to them any more so they have to fit in with whatever is happening. Here are a couple of examples:

1. With Isaac, I knew when he would nap as a baby. I never tried to get him into a routine but he developed one and would nap at fairly regular times everyday from about 4 months old. With Imogen I still have no idea when she will nap. When she was tiny she would fall asleep after feeding or in the car or whenever she felt like it. For a long time she would fall asleep on me and if I tried to put her down she would wake up. Even now I know she will fall asleep in the afternoon - sometimes it can be straight after lunch (like today she was asleep by 1pm and slept for almost 90 minutes), other times she might not fall asleep until 3pm and sleep for 45 minutes. Someday's she won't sleep at all and then will snuggle in and have a 20 minute power nap between 6 and 7pm and still go into bed after bath time and fall asleep fairly quickly.
2. I have increasingly found myself getting frustrated with Imogen when I ask her to do something because Isaac will do as he is told. I have to keep reminding myself that she is still not quite 2 and that I would not have expected Isaac to do what I am asking her. I'm not bragging when I say she is bright for her age, but I must remember that she is almost 2, not almost 3 as it seems sometimes with her behaviour.

However sometimes I find her a lot easier to 'parent' and wonder why this is. My thoughts are thus:

With Isaac I am still experiencing everything for the first time, so I have no experience to base it on. With Imogen I have already 'been there, done that, got the ...' and so when she does something it is not so much of a novelty. This doesn't mean that she doesn't still shock me. 

Last Wednesday she announced 'big girl pants now mummy' and although I had no intention of potty training until I had finished chemotherapy I would like to brag that in the last year I have potty trained two children, and here is where my parenting approach differs. With Isaac and potty training, as you will know I found it very frustrating. I stayed in for 4 days before venturing out of the house and would religiously take him to the toilet every 30 minutes. With Imogen we put her in knickers on Thursday and went out for the day!!! I took her to the toilet 3 times during the day and she performed on cue each time. Since then we have not had a day in the house. We have been out everyday and I have taken her to the toilet when I have remembered. In the house she will go to the potty and wee. 

So, what is my point here? I think the point that I am trying to make is that as your first child grows up you are still experiencing everything for the first time and so you are constantly learning. With your second or subsequent child(ren) you have the experience and patience to allow them to be more independent and you can draw on your greater parenting knowledge to enforce that. it doesn't mean sometimes you will expect things from them that they are not capable of it does mean you can be more analytical and hopefully consistent in your parenting approach.

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Foolproof fudge

After the excitement of about 3inches of snow this morning, i have found something even better.
My mum makes amazing fudge and i have never been able to replicate it. Yesterday while going through some old magazines i found yet another fudge recipe and thought i'd save it for a rainy day. This was thwarted today as Mr hayllar decided he wanted millionaire shortbread, as he was going to the supermarket i ordered the fudge ingredients and thought i'd give it a shot.
So chocolate and condensed milk mixed and melted, icing sugar added then into the fridge. 2 hours later yummy chocolate fudge.

Now just need to let the chocolate for the millionaire shortbread!!!

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Paranoid Android

Wow, this weeks feels like it has been so busy.

Monday I had a follow up with my consultant at East Surrey. I know the NHS is free, but I waited almost 75 minutes after my appointment time to go in. Luckily I didn't have the children with me, otherwise I think we would have gone stir crazy. 
I have to admit something now. Since November when I went back into hospital with the adhesion/blockage, I have been paranoid about what is going on inside me. And not just me, with the children as well. Someone on a well known parenting forum linked to this and I have been over analysing everything since. Particularly with them, I am so worried about them and especially the likelihood of them getting cancer in the future and it all being down to me and my crappy, faulty genes. It was good to see my surgeon and hear yet again how well I was looking and talk to him about the over analysis I am doing and the paranoia I feel about everytime something is a little different I worry about having to come back into hospital again. I never used to worry about going into hospital but having been in so often and having to go for chemotherapy has really made me, not scared about being readmitted, but annoyed more than anything that this cancer has taken over once again and I am not in control. 
He was very reassuring, and helped me realise that things are probably not going to be normal for a while and it is usual to be overanxious, especially given the fact that I had been readmitted. 
It has also forced me to reassess some of the things I do and more specifically my sedentary lifestyle. 
This Blog is written by a friend of mine, who I really admire for putting this on the internet and chronicling everything. It has inspired me to unearth the Wii Fit board and associated game and also start back with my yoga practice. Its also made me look at my diet and I realise that I need to set a better example to the children. After all how can I expect them to eat things that I don't. So I have started feeding them, and hence me, more fruit and veg. 
I have realised that I do actually enjoy the taste of fresh, seasonal produce and can make a real difference to my health if I continue with this. 
In other news, I am due to have chemotherapy number 7 on Wednesday, which means that after the obligatory 2 weeks of tablets I will have one left. That last one falls 2 days after Imogens 2nd Birthday. 

I can't quite believe how far I have come. When I think back to October and having my birthday, PICC line inserted and first chemotherapy session all in one week, I look at where I am now and know that this blasted disease has made me a stronger, determiend person who is assessing what they want from the next few years of their life. 

Watch this space!!!!