About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

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Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Follow Ups

So today is 'F' day and to cap it off I hardly slept at all last night.


I know I should be being positive but yesterday I got my latest Beating Bowel Cancer update and reading it just set my mind racing.


The worst thing about this is the loss of control. I cannot control whether or not the cancer chooses to come back. I can alter my diet, change my fitness habits and follow all the government health advice (some of it very contradictory) but nothing will change the fact that I ultimately have no control over what is going on.


So today, like every other day, I have to suck it up, put a positive spin on things because I think if people knew what was really going on in my head and heart and the amount of time I spend in tears or near tears about the uncontrollable they would be horrified