About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

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Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Guess who's back, back again

I can't help but have the lyrics to Eminems 2002 hit going round and round my head at the moment.

I have had a feeling since Friday, let me explain why.

I saw my GP for the results of my blood test. My HB (blood count) was down to between 7 & 8. It should be 12. Deja vu there, this happened in 2011 and I needed two blood transfusions to get it back up.

He then expressed his surprise that I hadn't heard from the MDT team yet. That's the colorectal nurses, surgeons, oncologists etc who review everyone's files and decide on their treatment paths.

Finally, he is the GP who does the baby clinic, asked whether I had managed to introduce a bottle to Hope and he strongly recommended that we do it ASAP. I thought that this was because he wanted to be able to prescribe me stronger painkillers. I now know differently.

When I got home I phoned the upper GI nurses who I had spoken to before and left them a message asking why I still hadn't heard anything. 

Later on I got a call from Jackie, which was lovely, but she's a colorectal nurse and she talked about arranging me an appointment with Dr Cummings, who is my oncologist. It's OK she said he knows your history, he'll be able to help.

Alarm bells start going off gently. These start blaring on Saturday when a letter arrives dated 10th October telling me of my appointment with Dr Cummings and having the 'bring a friend or relative line'

So fast forward through the weekend, cancer rolling around my head, staying away from Google, but hoping it could be nice and straightforward like last time. Operation, tumour out, chemo to kill the rest, boom cancer free. 

Nope, nothing so simple this time.

I have peritoneal disease and liver metastases, these are inoperable. So the only solution is chemo. But before I can have chemo I need to stop breastfeeding. 

So, we are persevering with the bottle as Hope screams at Tony while he tries to feed her and I hide upstairs. 

I am coming to terms with the fact that I have inoperable, Incurable cancer. The chemotherapy can shrink and manage the tumours but my understanding is that they won't go and they could spread.

I always knew that cancer could come back. I never thought that it would be so soon. 

On Thursday I need to go and have a blood transfusion, and sometime in the next couple of weeks I'll be getting another PICC line and starting a new killer regime of drugs to beat and reduce these tumours again.