About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

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Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Hypocrisy

Hi, my names Ruth & I am a hypocrite.

As I sit here giving Hope her lunch of nice healthy carrot sticks, cucumber pieces, water, cheese, ham and fruit I realise that yet again cancer has given me something to beat myself up with.

I'd love to be tucking into a healthy salad with plenty of greens and veggies. However if I want to have a peaceful afternoon not in pain I will settle for some supernoodles, or a pot noodle or some other piece of processed food.

These are the foods that don't mess me up and mean I can function on something like a normal level. 

But there are some many sticks as a parent to beat yourself up with and one thing I always thought I would abide by was the saying that I wouldn't make my kids eat something if I wasn't going to. 

Nothing makes me crosser than people that make their child eat something but won't try it themselves. There are some exceptions to this rule. I don't like olives, I occassionally try an olive but I still don't like them, but I would not force my child to eat one either. 

However the number of children I have come across who do not have these boundaries enforced is insane. Children on scout camp who do not like potato wedges, but will happily eat chips. I don't like chicken casserole, but will eat chicken nuggets. 

So I am now a hypocrite. All too soon I will sit at the dining room table with my children while they tuck into a roast dinner with all the trimmings and I will try and force some down, knowing that it will wreck havoc on my digestive system and I'd far rather have a bowl of BBQ  beef supernoodles, sweetcorn relish and baked beans, followed by a muller greek style corner cherry yogurt (no other flavour will do at the moment).