About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

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Monday, 29 August 2011

Tomorrow is chemo information day

I am going to go back a bit before I look forward.

While I was in hospital, Tony had to put Imogen down to bed awake, because mummy was not there to feed and cuddle her to sleep. I knew all along that this was making a rod for my own back but I loved the cuddles and they are small for so long that I didn't mind. 

This resulted in her screaming for, I have been told, 30 minutes the first night, 15 the following and then 5 or less. This remained the same when I came out of hospital both times.

Now I am feeling the pain. Since I came out of hospital and even more since we came back from Somerset Imogen has not settled. As I type she has been upstairs screaming for nearly an hour, I have been and resettled her, Tony has been and resettled her, we have left her. This is becoming a pattern. I want to break it. I have googled controlled crying which is what we are trying, I don't like it and even less because it is keeping Isaac awake but we are at the end of our tether. I cannot physically sit and cuddle her anymore. I did this at Beautiful Days in a camping chair and was dosed up on paracetamol. I cannot continue to dose of paracetamol just to get Imogen to sleep.

If anyone has any ideas please share them below. 

Anyway looking forward to tomorrow...

I have to confess, I have misplaced the letter confirming the time of the appointment. It is either 2pm or 2.30pm. Either way we have enlisted the services of our childminder from 1.30.

I have a list of questions as long as my arm, most of which I hope will be answered in the course of the consultation, but I must write them down so I can eliminate them as we talk.

I hope to blog tomorrow after the consultation and will update you all then.

..... As an aside Imogen is still screaming, I have been up to see here, she is now sitting on our bed while Daddy ignores her to allow Isaac to go to sleep....