About this Blog

This blog started as an online diary and place for me to rant about annoyances in my family.

However since July it has become a place for me to catalogue and express my views and opinions on the treatment I have recieved following the diagnosis of a potentially cancerous tumor in my bowel.

On 3rd August 2011 I was told that it was cancerous. In April 2012 I was given the all clear.

October 15th 2013 I was diagnosed with peritoneal disease and liver metastases. The cancer was back and this time it is inoperable.

It is a little bit out of date as the NHS doesn't tend to have a WiFi connection in hospital and I can only post when I get home and posts take a while to write.

It is NOT about individuals or the nursing profession. It is about some of the inadequacies in the system and the way the NHS is failing some people.

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Thursday, 28 November 2013

Let's talk parenting

I've had a couple of interesting experiences over the last few days that I thought I would share with you.

I like to think I'm a pretty good mummy. I do shout, but mostly when I'm in pain and I live in pain so I don't shout as much as I could. When I do shout I always give the children a hug afterwards and say sorry to them. I explain that mummy's baddies are hurting her and she is cross with them and shouldn't shout at Isaac and Imogen. 

Sometimes they just push my buttons. It is hard to discipline in that case. You need to make a distinction between why you are cross with them then and not at other times. 

Anyway I digress. Let me take you to yesterday tea time.

It had been a long day, we got back from school, got straight in the car to go to the hospital to have my PICC line flushed and redressed. I'd already decided to treat the children to McDonalds for tea. We didn't leave the hospital until 16:30, so that made sense. 
I don't apologise for giving it to them. They enjoy it. There are worse things they could eat, but actually the experience I had this time relates to Hope. 

I'd given her a few carrot sticks and broken one of Imogen's chicken nuggets in half for her. She was happily chewing away when a lady launched herself at me and began a tirade about how irresponsible I was feeding my 'tiny baby' solid food, about how she was obviously choking and did I not know that. I was shell shocked. I have only ever had positive feedback about the way I weaned all three of my children. I think I managed to mutter something along the lines of 'as she's my third I think I know what I'm doing, thank you' but it didn't stop her sitting staring at me for the rest of the meal.

Why do people do this? Why do complete strangers feel that it is ok to judge your parenting? As a parent you can't win. You're made to feel uncomfortable breastfeeding or formula feeding. If you choose to co sleep you face harsh critics, but move your baby into their own room and you risk more judging. Wean with puree's and your told there is no need as you shouldn't wean until your baby can decide what they want to eat and when, but do BLW and you face the woman I did yesterday!!

I have a thick skin, but recent events have made me wary about doing things with Hope in public. I often sit feeding her wishing I was breastfeeding rather than bottle feeding. I wonder how many people are judging me for bottle feeding, because unfortunately I don't have a sign that says I'd rather be breastfeeding, but cancer means I can't. 

(Hmmm maybe there's a business opportunity there, dragons den here I come)

Experience number two came this morning, when cbeebies didn't work. My schedule in the morning relies on certain programmes at certain times. This morning my children had to entertain themselves. Thus resulted in Imogen eating breakfast while wearing her pajama's, Cinderella dress and devil mask and Isaac having Hope in fits of giggles while wearing a Dracula mask.

Then, as we left for school they decided to be robots and marched like robots the whole way to school. 

I might now leave cbeebies off and watch the news instead!!!